Press on Toward the Goal

Well,

Goal #1 of finishing raking leaves doesn't seem like it's going to happen. My back was KILLING me yesterday, making me quite grouchy, I may add. OK, my back didn't actually "make" me grouchy, but you know what I mean. It actually feels 90 % better this morning, but hubby won't let me finish raking because he doesn't want a broken wife on his hands. In the past, I would have been stubborn & done them anyway, just to prove I could, but I think I will submit & let him finish them. Which wouldn't be so bad, except I feel like I haven't seen him all week & I miss him & I wanted to be able to enjoy all day tomorrow, NOT doing yard work. Oh well.....such is life. So, goal #1 is kaput.

Goal #2 of waking early to exercise (after raking was done) is also kaput until my back is 100%. But, I am going to try my best to take a walk after hubby gets home so I will at least get some exercise.

Goal #3 I have no excuses, but I am not doing tremendously well. I have been waiting until I am hungry to eat breakfast, which is a start, but I have not been doing so great the rest of the day. There have been other small gains, though. I have been having homemade hot cocoa instead of ice cream or other desserts, which has fewer calories & is actually somewhat nutritious when made from scratch. Not a ton of sugar or calories & lots of calcium. And, I haven't been having a snack before bed. So, I am definitely doing better, but not fabulous. So, today I will concentrate on goal #3...especially since it's the only thing I really can control today because of my uncooperative back. My strategy is to keep very busy, so I won't think about eating as much.

I am reminded of what my small group is studying in Philippians (3:13-14), when Paul wrote: "Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Paul is talking about his spiritual growth, of course, but I can apply that to this goal as well. I will never reach bodily perfection, nor will I reach perfection as far as self-control & discipline goes. BUT, I can't use that as an excuse to not set high goals for myself. If I don't set any goals, I will never achieve any of them, right? And, even though I have failed time & time again....I can't fall into the trap of looking behind me at my past failures. I must press on. Today is a new day. For me, for you, for us all. Today, I will do my best to reach this goal. With God's help & much prayer, I will win the victory over food.

Blessings, Dianna

1 Down, Many to Go

Well,

I lost one pound this week. Not too tremendous, but I will take it. More importantly, I have kicked the ice cream habit! Not that I'll never have ice cream again, but I was sincerely addicted to it, which is bad on a physical level, but also a spiritual level. IMHO, anything you feel you can't live without is verging on idolatry. There is nothing wrong with ice cream. There is, however, something very wrong with not being happy unless you can have some very day.

I have been exercising, but mostly in the form of raking leaves for hours. My acre of lawn doesn't seem that big in the winter & spring. In the summer, as I'm mowing it with the hand mower & again in Fall when I'm raking it, it seems HUGE!! We're still not done. Hopefully, I'll get a chance to work on it again today. So, the goal of waking up early is only 1/2 achieved. I knew that if I did my morning work out, I wouldn't have time or energy to rake, too, since I'm pitifully out of shape, so I kind of had to choose. So, my new goals this week are:

1. Finish raking!!

2. Start getting up early to exercise

3. Wait until I'm actually hungry before I eat. May seem obvious, but when I don't, I usually eat breakfast, lunch, a snack, dinner & dessert....simply because that's what I've always done. But, I have learned when I actually follow my body's hunger signs, I eat a TON less & less often. For a lady my size (not just chubb-o size, but my actual frame & height) I don't require nearly as much food as I would think. When I did lose a good amount of weight, I was surprised that eating less actually gave me more energy, so maybe that's something I can look forward to.

So, I am in the race (again). I will persevere! The Lord is with me & He wants me to succeed. All I have to do is agree with Him that I can & cooperate with Him.

Blessings, Dianna

Early Morning

Hello, Today is day 3 of my RE-start, my millionth beginning to new eating/exercise/attitude. I WILL win the victory. In fact, I know it's already won. Christ won this battle for me on the cross....I just need to be smart enough to claim it ....AND not let it go ....again. I got up at 5:45 today & exercised which is actually a HUGE deal, because I slept like poo...have been, actually....don't know what's up with that :( I am SO glad I did, though, because I still be in bed now, getting snippets of sleep that wouldn't help anyway. Now, at least, I feel strong & ready to start the day. The DVDs I exercise to are pretty mindless, so I pretty much pray the whole time, so that's a good way to get the old attitude on straight, too.

I did fairly well yesterday. I didn't get up as early as I would have liked, but I did get up & I did exercise. I ate less than I have been, although could have done better in that department, but I'm concentrating on 1 or 2 goals at a time. My other goal (besides exercising) has been to give up ice cream & I am past that hump, praise God!!! I have such a compassion for people trying to kick real drugs/alcohol, because I had a hard enough time with ice cream. I was Jonesin' for some. Really. And, boy, was I cranky. I have been in a much better frame of mind since I "kicked" the old ice cream habit. Partly because I am being more diligent about guarding my heart, partly because I asked some friends to pray about it, partly because exercise helps with moods, and so too much sugar/junk food is BAD for moodiness. No wonder I was a wreck. It's not just my imagination, I really am a more pleasant person when I am living better physically.

So, what about you? Have you tried to conquer a habit/lifestyle a million times & failed? Join the club!!! Don't give up! Why do you think you're still here today? Join me in my quest for better living. You're not alone. God bless, Dianna

Here I Go Again

Well, I have not posted in ages and I need to start again because I am doing HORRIBLY!!!! No matter that probably no one will read this. The act of writing it might do me some good.

I have been doing the gluten free/wheat free/yeast free thing for a little less than a year. At first, it went very well because I was so excited not to feel like poo & to be sleeping. After the novelty of that wore off, I started feeling sorry for myself at all the foods I CAN'T eat. So, I began eating more of what I could. The result: I'm back up to 181 pounds - not the highest I've ever been, certainly, but not where I want to be, either. More importantly, my attitude is stinky...ungrateful towards all that I CAN have/do. I can say I'm grateful, but if I'm complaining all the time about what I can't have, I'm not. What does that say to God? Who has given me so much else in life to enjoy. I feel like Eve in the Garden of Paradise....surrounded by beauty & God's presence, yet tricked by satan to partake of the 1 thing she wasn't supposed to have. Dumb, dumb, dumb...I am letting satan steal my joy, my productivity & my health.

Worse, I have not been exercising much & have slipped back into an overall state of non-discipline. Which is not to say I am sitting at home every day eating bon-bons, but I was doing so well there for a while & I let all my good habits slip. They say if you consistently do something for 2 weeks or so, it becomes a habit that is hard to break. Well, I was exercising consistently for months & then, "poof"!! I HATE schedules & discipline more than the average person, but I actually suspect that I need it more than the average person. Once I let one habit go, I seem to let others go & then we're going over the budget, the housework slips, the school work slips, and the rest of the house seems to take my lead & slips right along with me.

I have been under a lot of stress in the past year or 2 - waiting on the adoption that seems like it's never going to happen-but, I can't use that as an excuse. There will always be stresses in my life. There will always be delays. There will always be disappointments. Will I ever learn to handle them in a positive way & not turn to food? I feel like an episode of a soap opera...."will she, or won't she?"

Well, enough negativity. I am taking the bull by the horns. I have been 3 days without ice cream, which may not seem like a big deal, but it's the only ready-made dessert I can eat. I almost gave in last night, but didn't, thankfully! I CAN do this. Maybe I'm just a bit slower-learning than the average gal. I WILL change my attitude & my habits. What choice do I have? Continue to be miserable with myself? My big goals for the week are: 1. Continue breaking the Ice cream addiction, and 2. Start waking up early to exercise.

God bless....Dianna

Keeing on

Things are going well in the eating/exercising department. I am not seeing the #s drop as quickly as I'd like, but there is a noticable difference in how my clothes are fitting. This is fantastic, but I'd also really like to see those #s drop more quickly, too. I'm trying not to get caught up in that, though.

Figuring out how to eat gluten free/wheat free, and now yeast free is proving to be challenging, but I am making some progress. I am doing a lot of experimenting & throwing out roughly 1/4 of my creations. Different flours have entirely different textures & I'm working with a lot of ingredients I'm not familiar with. But, it's all good. I'm not feeling fatigued, sleeping well...what else can I ask for?

God bless, Dianna

God loves me

Apropos of nothing, God loves you!! Just a reminder & a reminder to myself. Having a horrible week emotionally, although physically fine:) Happy New Year!! Love, Dianna

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to my Last Blog

Hi,

Well...it's been quite a crazy few weeks. The day after I last posted I got SICK. Oy!! It was a pretty good one I'm still not 100% over. Couldn't talk for a week, had a nasty cough at night that nothing touched. Got a nasty eye infection. Fun, fun, fun..... BUT, at the same time, I stuck to my no gluten/no wheat/no yeast dealio & it's a bonafide miracle, I think. The pain that I've had in my legs forever is completely gone. I've been sleeping, and, most importantly, not feeling fatigued. I really think I may have found the problem that has plagued me & taken over my life for years. Part of me is super excited, part of me thinks it's too good to be true. Time will tell, I guess. If this is the problem, my eating/cooking habits will be changing drastically. I am trying to learn all I can, because they stick wheat into EVERYTHING!!! I like to cook, but I do eat my share of processed foods for simplicity's sake, but that won't really be an option. But, I will certainly commit to it if it means I can feel like a human being again. Oh yea, I've lost 11 pounds since my last post. God is good!!!

Merry Christmas!! Love, Dianna