Yesterday was a better day. Much better. I got up early-ish to do Denise Austin this morning. It makes such a big difference when I wake up early & not lay around in bed trying to fall back asleep. I thought I already learned this lesson, but I guess I need to re-learn it: Get out of bed the first time my body wakes up!! I'll wake up early & then think I haven't slept enough (which I usually haven't) & so I try to fall back asleep again. Sometimes I do, but even then it's not good quality & it doesn't really help. I always feel better if I just jump out of bed, no matter what hour it is & start moving. It actually helps me feel less tired, BUT...it's just that physical getting up out of the nice, warm, cozy bed. I really am a lazy bum. Who can I blame for that? Hhmmmm... maybe my sister because she would always do my chores for me when I was younger. Yea, I'll blame her :) Really, I know it's something I struggle with. I'll work my butt off if it's something I'm passionate about, but I'm not passionate about many things---having a clean house for one. It just doesn't seem worth it. BUT, having a messy house affects my state of mind, which affects my eating habits, which affects my health, which affects my productivity, etc....Endless, brutal cycle. I am realizing (much to my chagrin) that, in order to stay focused on my quest for self-control in the area of eating & exercising, I need to develop self-control & discipline in all areas of my life. EUREKA!! But, I hesitate to even write this revelation down for fear someone will hold me accountable. People who know me well know "sticking to-it-ness" is NOT my strong point. God has certainly helped me in this area over the past few years. Not to pat myself on the back, because I know it's purely by the power of Christ, but I consider myself fairly consistent in the ministries I'm involved in, even when they get difficult, which they often do!! I am fairly consistent in teaching the girls, even though some days are , of course, more productive than others. However, I am severely lacking in consistency in the daily, mundane tasks. But, I really need to get some discipline into all areas of my life. That might involve---GASP!!!----a schedule. :( Lately, for various reasons, I have been second-guessing my decision to hs (don't we women second guess everything? When they were in public school, I second guessed that nearly every day, so a few times a year now isn't so bad, I guess) Anyway, part of the reason I was doubting was because it is very difficult to have any kind of discipline without any external factors. Think about it: If I don't get out of my pjs until 4 in the afternoon (which has been known to happen), no one cares. If I don't start school until 12, no one cares. My husband is a prince, so if the house is messy, no one cares (except me). For my hubby, if he has clean boxer shorts, socks, the children are alive & food on the table every night, he is a happy camper. The only motivation I have needs to come from within. Within is not a very motivated place most of the time. I am not one of those weird women who wake up & say, "I can't wait to clean the house today" (I know there are some of you out there). But, I need to find the motivation somewhere. I also need to set my own boundaries, because I never think I do enough, even when I'm probably doing a lot. With stuff like housework, that is never officially "done", how do you measure success? It's unrealistic to think I'm going to live in a spotless home. I have 2 little girls home most of the time & I want them to enjoy their house, too. So, if I set up some kind of schedule, I can check things off & maybe feel like I can take a break without feeling guilty. I think I need to buy a copy of the FlyLady. Anyway, I realize this a is a really long post & I babbling, but I think I have been treating this whole food thing as something I could continue to isolate, when really, everything is so connected. Well, God bless you all, Dianna
