1 Down, Many to Go

Well,

I lost one pound this week. Not too tremendous, but I will take it. More importantly, I have kicked the ice cream habit! Not that I'll never have ice cream again, but I was sincerely addicted to it, which is bad on a physical level, but also a spiritual level. IMHO, anything you feel you can't live without is verging on idolatry. There is nothing wrong with ice cream. There is, however, something very wrong with not being happy unless you can have some very day.

I have been exercising, but mostly in the form of raking leaves for hours. My acre of lawn doesn't seem that big in the winter & spring. In the summer, as I'm mowing it with the hand mower & again in Fall when I'm raking it, it seems HUGE!! We're still not done. Hopefully, I'll get a chance to work on it again today. So, the goal of waking up early is only 1/2 achieved. I knew that if I did my morning work out, I wouldn't have time or energy to rake, too, since I'm pitifully out of shape, so I kind of had to choose. So, my new goals this week are:

1. Finish raking!!

2. Start getting up early to exercise

3. Wait until I'm actually hungry before I eat. May seem obvious, but when I don't, I usually eat breakfast, lunch, a snack, dinner & dessert....simply because that's what I've always done. But, I have learned when I actually follow my body's hunger signs, I eat a TON less & less often. For a lady my size (not just chubb-o size, but my actual frame & height) I don't require nearly as much food as I would think. When I did lose a good amount of weight, I was surprised that eating less actually gave me more energy, so maybe that's something I can look forward to.

So, I am in the race (again). I will persevere! The Lord is with me & He wants me to succeed. All I have to do is agree with Him that I can & cooperate with Him.

Blessings, Dianna

Early Morning

Hello, Today is day 3 of my RE-start, my millionth beginning to new eating/exercise/attitude. I WILL win the victory. In fact, I know it's already won. Christ won this battle for me on the cross....I just need to be smart enough to claim it ....AND not let it go ....again. I got up at 5:45 today & exercised which is actually a HUGE deal, because I slept like poo...have been, actually....don't know what's up with that :( I am SO glad I did, though, because I still be in bed now, getting snippets of sleep that wouldn't help anyway. Now, at least, I feel strong & ready to start the day. The DVDs I exercise to are pretty mindless, so I pretty much pray the whole time, so that's a good way to get the old attitude on straight, too.

I did fairly well yesterday. I didn't get up as early as I would have liked, but I did get up & I did exercise. I ate less than I have been, although could have done better in that department, but I'm concentrating on 1 or 2 goals at a time. My other goal (besides exercising) has been to give up ice cream & I am past that hump, praise God!!! I have such a compassion for people trying to kick real drugs/alcohol, because I had a hard enough time with ice cream. I was Jonesin' for some. Really. And, boy, was I cranky. I have been in a much better frame of mind since I "kicked" the old ice cream habit. Partly because I am being more diligent about guarding my heart, partly because I asked some friends to pray about it, partly because exercise helps with moods, and so too much sugar/junk food is BAD for moodiness. No wonder I was a wreck. It's not just my imagination, I really am a more pleasant person when I am living better physically.

So, what about you? Have you tried to conquer a habit/lifestyle a million times & failed? Join the club!!! Don't give up! Why do you think you're still here today? Join me in my quest for better living. You're not alone. God bless, Dianna

Here I Go Again

Well, I have not posted in ages and I need to start again because I am doing HORRIBLY!!!! No matter that probably no one will read this. The act of writing it might do me some good.

I have been doing the gluten free/wheat free/yeast free thing for a little less than a year. At first, it went very well because I was so excited not to feel like poo & to be sleeping. After the novelty of that wore off, I started feeling sorry for myself at all the foods I CAN'T eat. So, I began eating more of what I could. The result: I'm back up to 181 pounds - not the highest I've ever been, certainly, but not where I want to be, either. More importantly, my attitude is stinky...ungrateful towards all that I CAN have/do. I can say I'm grateful, but if I'm complaining all the time about what I can't have, I'm not. What does that say to God? Who has given me so much else in life to enjoy. I feel like Eve in the Garden of Paradise....surrounded by beauty & God's presence, yet tricked by satan to partake of the 1 thing she wasn't supposed to have. Dumb, dumb, dumb...I am letting satan steal my joy, my productivity & my health.

Worse, I have not been exercising much & have slipped back into an overall state of non-discipline. Which is not to say I am sitting at home every day eating bon-bons, but I was doing so well there for a while & I let all my good habits slip. They say if you consistently do something for 2 weeks or so, it becomes a habit that is hard to break. Well, I was exercising consistently for months & then, "poof"!! I HATE schedules & discipline more than the average person, but I actually suspect that I need it more than the average person. Once I let one habit go, I seem to let others go & then we're going over the budget, the housework slips, the school work slips, and the rest of the house seems to take my lead & slips right along with me.

I have been under a lot of stress in the past year or 2 - waiting on the adoption that seems like it's never going to happen-but, I can't use that as an excuse. There will always be stresses in my life. There will always be delays. There will always be disappointments. Will I ever learn to handle them in a positive way & not turn to food? I feel like an episode of a soap opera...."will she, or won't she?"

Well, enough negativity. I am taking the bull by the horns. I have been 3 days without ice cream, which may not seem like a big deal, but it's the only ready-made dessert I can eat. I almost gave in last night, but didn't, thankfully! I CAN do this. Maybe I'm just a bit slower-learning than the average gal. I WILL change my attitude & my habits. What choice do I have? Continue to be miserable with myself? My big goals for the week are: 1. Continue breaking the Ice cream addiction, and 2. Start waking up early to exercise.

God bless....Dianna

Keeing on

Things are going well in the eating/exercising department. I am not seeing the #s drop as quickly as I'd like, but there is a noticable difference in how my clothes are fitting. This is fantastic, but I'd also really like to see those #s drop more quickly, too. I'm trying not to get caught up in that, though.

Figuring out how to eat gluten free/wheat free, and now yeast free is proving to be challenging, but I am making some progress. I am doing a lot of experimenting & throwing out roughly 1/4 of my creations. Different flours have entirely different textures & I'm working with a lot of ingredients I'm not familiar with. But, it's all good. I'm not feeling fatigued, sleeping well...what else can I ask for?

God bless, Dianna

God loves me

Apropos of nothing, God loves you!! Just a reminder & a reminder to myself. Having a horrible week emotionally, although physically fine:) Happy New Year!! Love, Dianna

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to my Last Blog

Hi,

Well...it's been quite a crazy few weeks. The day after I last posted I got SICK. Oy!! It was a pretty good one I'm still not 100% over. Couldn't talk for a week, had a nasty cough at night that nothing touched. Got a nasty eye infection. Fun, fun, fun..... BUT, at the same time, I stuck to my no gluten/no wheat/no yeast dealio & it's a bonafide miracle, I think. The pain that I've had in my legs forever is completely gone. I've been sleeping, and, most importantly, not feeling fatigued. I really think I may have found the problem that has plagued me & taken over my life for years. Part of me is super excited, part of me thinks it's too good to be true. Time will tell, I guess. If this is the problem, my eating/cooking habits will be changing drastically. I am trying to learn all I can, because they stick wheat into EVERYTHING!!! I like to cook, but I do eat my share of processed foods for simplicity's sake, but that won't really be an option. But, I will certainly commit to it if it means I can feel like a human being again. Oh yea, I've lost 11 pounds since my last post. God is good!!!

Merry Christmas!! Love, Dianna

Speed Racer

Well, As I posted; yesterday was my birthday. I got another very nice gift, a "get out of jail card free". OY!! I was going down a hill & had picked up some speed (54 MPH in a 35 MPH zone to be exact), and , of course, a police officer pulled me over. OY!! I have to be honest, I was tempted to try to fib my way out of the situation, but I just told the guy, "I am SO sorry, and I know it's no excuse, but I don't usually drive this fast!!" When he went into his car to check my record, the girls & I are were just praying that God would grant me mercy. I knew I deserved a ticket, but I, of course, don't want one & can't really afford 1. He was in there a L-O-N-G time, but he ended up just writing me a warning & telling me I could consider it a $190 birthday gift from him. I was SO appreciative & you can bet I didn't speed the whole rest of the day.

Isn't that a great example of the mercy God shows us? I deserved that ticket. I knew the speed limit, had no excuse, but I didn't get one. Heehee :)

On another note...goal #1: good still :) Goal #2: Not so good yesterday. It was my birthday & I went to 2 places where the main event was food. I didn't do terribly, but not so great, either.

On even another note: I am trying something else which has nothing to do with weight & more to do with health. I try not to complain about it often, because it really doesn't do any good, but I feel tired nearly every moment of my life & achy, etc.....I've tried various things over the years. The last time I started feeling really good & "normal" was when I had lost the weight last year, so it might have to do with just the extra weight. But, I am going to try to eliminate all gluten from my diet for a week & see if I feel any better. I've heard of people having different food intolerance's that were hard to detect, but made them feel similar to the way I do. Part of me feels like feeling crappy is just my cross to bear in life...part of me says there's something I can do about it & don't give up. Please pray for me in this, that God would reveal where the problem is & how to treat it. I am convinced that every day life for me is more difficult than God has intended. Either that or I am a big old hypochondriac....& considering I go to the doctor's once every 3 years, that's probably not the case. Long post. Oh well...have a good day. Enjoy the mercy & grace of God :) Dianna