Why am I doing this

Last night our church hosted a benefit dinner for the daughter of one of our members who has cancer. I had a leadership role & it was a lot of work mentally over the last month or so & physically. I thought it went pretty well, considering we've never done anything like it & most of the helpers had little to no experience serving. And, I think we helped raise a boat load of $$ to help defray the costs that are associated with having a young child that needs constant care. I had been up since 4:00 that morning & going all day until I got home around 9:00. I was tired, my neck was stiff, voice strained & a bit achy. This morning, I woke up at 5:30, fully expecting to feel like a train ran over me & I really didn't. I'm still tired & my neck is still a tiny bit stiff, but otherwise I feel fine. And, as I was praying & reading my bible this morning, it really just hit me why I'm doing this whole eating less/losing weight/exercising/not being lazy thing. It's so I can do whatever it is God calls me to do. I realized that, about 6 months ago, I might not have had the endurance to do what I did yesterday without feeling like absolute death. The whole title of my blog: "fit for the race" really says it all. Last night was such an encouragement to me that I'm on the right track & need to persevere. I want to be able to say "Yes, Lord!" to absolutely anything He asks...even if it's not physical, the better physical health I have, the better I can handle all sorts of things. I never want to meet my maker and have Him say, "I had this good work for you to do, but you couldn't do it because of...." It just gives me a fresh perspective...when I choose to satisfy the desires of my flesh...ie eating too much, being physically lazy...I am basically choosing myself over others. I want to be the best servant I can be & it doesn't just start with some big ministry, it starts by training myself to have self-control, to have discipline & work consistently at things, by putting the big picture front & center. What a good reminder that it's not about me at all. Above all else, what I desire is to hear someday, "Well done my good and faithful servant". I heard it said that how we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. So true. If I can consistently learn to live a life filled with good habits concerning "little" things..., I will have let God train me to the point where I'll be ready when He has "big" things for me to do. Exciting news about your friend, Leah!!!!

God bless, Dianna

Flylady, Here I come!!

Doing pretty well the last few days even though I'm struggling with tiredness. I'm doing ok with the discipline thing & i think i am going to buy the FlyLady:

http://www.flylady.net/

I actually incorporated some of the stuff I learned from the web-site & a seminar I went to that was loosely based on her book about 2 years ago. I have to admit, it worked wonders, not only for my house, but for my mental state. But, then we decided to sell our house, move, yadda, yadda & I never got back to it. Now seems like a good time.

I've woken up a bit earlier the last few days, although with much resistance & grumbling against my flesh; or my flesh against my spirit, rather. But, it does make a difference. I am exercising & eating better (not fantastic, but better). Love you all...where's Spring??? God bless, Dianna

Eureka!

Yesterday was a better day. Much better. I got up early-ish to do Denise Austin this morning. It makes such a big difference when I wake up early & not lay around in bed trying to fall back asleep. I thought I already learned this lesson, but I guess I need to re-learn it: Get out of bed the first time my body wakes up!! I'll wake up early & then think I haven't slept enough (which I usually haven't) & so I try to fall back asleep again. Sometimes I do, but even then it's not good quality & it doesn't really help. I always feel better if I just jump out of bed, no matter what hour it is & start moving. It actually helps me feel less tired, BUT...it's just that physical getting up out of the nice, warm, cozy bed. I really am a lazy bum. Who can I blame for that? Hhmmmm... maybe my sister because she would always do my chores for me when I was younger. Yea, I'll blame her :) Really, I know it's something I struggle with. I'll work my butt off if it's something I'm passionate about, but I'm not passionate about many things---having a clean house for one. It just doesn't seem worth it. BUT, having a messy house affects my state of mind, which affects my eating habits, which affects my health, which affects my productivity, etc....Endless, brutal cycle. I am realizing (much to my chagrin) that, in order to stay focused on my quest for self-control in the area of eating & exercising, I need to develop self-control & discipline in all areas of my life. EUREKA!! But, I hesitate to even write this revelation down for fear someone will hold me accountable. People who know me well know "sticking to-it-ness" is NOT my strong point. God has certainly helped me in this area over the past few years. Not to pat myself on the back, because I know it's purely by the power of Christ, but I consider myself fairly consistent in the ministries I'm involved in, even when they get difficult, which they often do!! I am fairly consistent in teaching the girls, even though some days are , of course, more productive than others. However, I am severely lacking in consistency in the daily, mundane tasks. But, I really need to get some discipline into all areas of my life. That might involve---GASP!!!----a schedule. :( Lately, for various reasons, I have been second-guessing my decision to hs (don't we women second guess everything? When they were in public school, I second guessed that nearly every day, so a few times a year now isn't so bad, I guess) Anyway, part of the reason I was doubting was because it is very difficult to have any kind of discipline without any external factors. Think about it: If I don't get out of my pjs until 4 in the afternoon (which has been known to happen), no one cares. If I don't start school until 12, no one cares. My husband is a prince, so if the house is messy, no one cares (except me). For my hubby, if he has clean boxer shorts, socks, the children are alive & food on the table every night, he is a happy camper. The only motivation I have needs to come from within. Within is not a very motivated place most of the time. I am not one of those weird women who wake up & say, "I can't wait to clean the house today" (I know there are some of you out there). But, I need to find the motivation somewhere. I also need to set my own boundaries, because I never think I do enough, even when I'm probably doing a lot. With stuff like housework, that is never officially "done", how do you measure success? It's unrealistic to think I'm going to live in a spotless home. I have 2 little girls home most of the time & I want them to enjoy their house, too. So, if I set up some kind of schedule, I can check things off & maybe feel like I can take a break without feeling guilty. I think I need to buy a copy of the FlyLady. Anyway, I realize this a is a really long post & I babbling, but I think I have been treating this whole food thing as something I could continue to isolate, when really, everything is so connected. Well, God bless you all, Dianna

Overcome

BOO!! I am NOT doing well :( Really NOT at all. I have eaten quite horribly the past few days & am very disappointed in myself. I have still been exercising, but eating way too much & trying to justify it. I so need to get a grip before I undo everything God has so graciously un-done in the last few months. The heart of the matter is I'm lazy. I don't want to have to work at it. I just want it done & have all my bad habits completely gone. God has given me victory in this area, but that doesn't mean I can just sit back & do anything I feel like. I need to hold onto the victory & not willingly give it over, which I have been. First & foremost I need to have faith, but I also need to remember that the health of my body is worth fighting for. Worth investing time & prayer towards. I NEEd to do better. NOW!! Unfortunately, I gain weight a lot faster than I lose it, so I could be back to my old self in a blink of an eye. And I'm sure there's nothing satan would like better. BOO!! I will not be defeated!! 1 John 5:4 - "Everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith." Please pray for me. God bless, Dianna

2 More Down

Well, I can't understand how, except the grace of God, but I've lost another 2 pounds since I last weighed in. I haven't been doing super, but even at my worst, I've still been exercising a few times a week & not totally being a glutton. While I'm certainly not complaining, in an odd way, I almost feel guilty for losing weight...like I'm getting away with something. I really am weird, aren't I? Oh, well...I am just going to see it as a gift from God & resist the temptation to think I can eat crappy & still lose weight. I only lost 2 pounds in 2 weeks, so I probably would have lost more if I hadn't had so many rough patches, but I'll take every pound I can---or lose it, rather.

Isn't it funny how some #s mean more than others? I am now 2 pounds away from being under that 160 line. That would be nice. Maybe that can help motivate me, too...although I hesitate to pay too much attention to #s, because that is not my main focus. Reminder to self: My main focus is to NOT be a glutton, NOT to use food for comfort & NOT to be a lazy butt.

Leah, get back on that exercising wagon. You can do it!!! God bless, Dianna

I went to Wright's Chicken Farm Saturday & ate too much, but not to the point of disgustingness. I also had cake, m&ms & ice cream this weekend. Extenuating circumstances. I'm ok with it. Back on track today. I discovered today I can prop up a book while exercising & help avoid the BOREDOM factor. When hubby is home during the day, I can take a nice, long walk, but that's not too often. The book thing is BIG because I can't stand to be bored. Patience is not my strong suit. So hurry up & finish reading this blog!!!! Haha, I'm too funny. God bless, Dianna

New Motivation

Hello,

Ladies, thanks as always for your encouragement. Leah, good job losing 5 pounds :) Yesterday was a good day. I was able to take a long walk & have a nice long chat with God & am trying to recommit to the "fire" I had when I first started this venture. I got some new motivation to continue on, actually, in my brother-in-law, Harry. He's got some health issues I can safely assumed he's ignored for quite a while & has now admitted he needs to get serious about losing weight. So, my new motivation is to keep with it & try to be a good example for him. Not that I think he's watching my every move, but people always notice when you lose weight. Actually, they notice even more when you gain!! I was able to resist a HUGE temptation last night (I won't go into details :0) & exercised again this morning. Bye, bye slump. Have a good day everyone. God is good, Dianna

Standing Still

Not doing great. Not doing poorly. Kind of stuck. Lacking in motivation to break over this hump. I've got to get the 1,000 boxes of Girl Scout cookies we bought out of the house, that might help. God bless, Dianna