I Think I Can

My floor is in & I'm so happy!!! The carpet in my basement was SO yucky!!! Now I have a nice, new, clean floor. The stress was worth it!! (Jane, I'm glad I'm not the only one who stresses out about such things) Now I just have to bring everything back down here. Oh, well. It will be a good time to reorganize. Trust me, I could use some reorganizing. I didn't exercise today :( Too busy getting ready for my HS co-op. But, tomorrow, I'm determined to do it first thing in the morning. I think I can, I think I can....God bless, enjoy the snow, Dianna

WHACK!!

I'm all out of whack. My house is all torn apart because I'm getting a new floor put in the basement today (God willing). Everything downstairs is now upstairs. Including the TV I normally work out on. My routine is all screwed up. I've been exercising some, but not as much as I'd like. I also ate too much yesterday :( I didn't over stuff myself, but I ate lunch when I wasn't hungry, just because it was there & everyone else was. I need to get back on track. TODAY!!! I have to admit I'm kind of in a slump in various areas at the moment. Silly things stress me out. Like getting this new floor in. On the 1 hand, I'm excited, but on the other, I'm STRESSED!!! I've been up since 6:00....did I think the floor guys were going to install it at 6? Just having strangers in the house stresses me out. I'm so weird, I can't stand it. Oh, well. I will be thrilled when the house is back to "normal". I can't stand all these piles of things in my living room. Lots of things I can't stand today. Poor me...ha ha. NOT!! I know I'm blessed. I just need to snap out of it. Have a lovely day.

A Ridiculous Post

Well, I realized a while ago that in my weight loss #s, I have actually mistakenly used my highest weight ever, not the weight I actually was when I started this journey. It didn't bother me when I realized that, because it was not intentional, but I feel God keeps laying it on myheart to clear it up. I know it sounds ridiculous, but who am I to argue? Anyway, for the record, I have lost 32 pounds, not 35, since the beginning of this blog. I doubt anyone cares, but now I have it off my chest. I feel silly, but guilty, even over small things. They can really weigh on you, don't you think? Have a lovely day. God bless, Dianna

35 Down

I've lost 35 pounds so far!! Woohoo! That's pretty darned cool, especially since I have been sick for most of this month & have been thrown off any semblance of a schedule. I want to thank my hubby for telling me not to eat the cookies last night. I actually listened for once, can you believe it? After pouting for a few minutes, I realized I really didn't want them that badly. I'm thinking I need to buy yuckier sweets for my kids to have around the house. The problem is, there's not that many sweets I HATE. But, maybe I can find 1 (that they still like, of course).



This has nothing at all to do with weight, but it's my blog, so what the heck. I hate housework!! And, what's more I hate that I hate housework. Being a SAHM & a homeschooling mom, we are home a great deal of the time, which of course causes lots of clutter & mess. I try to convince myself sometimes that it doesn't matter, but the truth is it does matter, to me anyway. I don't need a picture perfect house, but when it's messy, especially when it's really cluttered, I just don't function well. The worst is when every room is a disaster. No refuge. I just can't think amongst all the mess. But, I truthfully hate housework. I was throwing in a load of laundry this morning, all whiny & I just laughed at how pathetic I am. How many women in different countries today are still beating their clothes on a rock by a river & here I am complaining in my heart that I'm doing yet another load of laundry in my Maytag washing machine. How many families in this world have closets full of clothes...who can change into new outfits every day, if not (in my daughter's case) more than once a day? I am so blessed to even own a home (well, we share it with the bank:) & to have health & strength to do chores. I should be so grateful, but truthfully 99% of the time my daily duties feel like a punishment. I hate feeling that way. It's not right. I really need to pray about having a better attitude in this area because my chores aren't going away!! I am giving the kids the week off (they know public school kids are on vacation this week), so I wanted to try to spend the week getting the house in order. It's 1:00 & I have done very little thus far. Lazy bones!!

I need to remember Ecclesiastes 9:10: "Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might." I have been blessed to ba SAHM & a homeschooling mom. Part of that job description is keeping an orderly house. I think I just need to realize it truly can be for the Lord. I am providing a safe & orderly environment in which my kids can grow & flourish & in which my husband can come home to relax after he comes home from work. I think part of the reason I hate it so much is because it seems so unimportant. But, it's really not. OK, that's enough babbling. God bless, Dianna

Tummy Troubles

I've been a bit under the weather again. I've had this weird knot in my stomache since Sunday night & yuckiness. I've been tired & dizzy, unable to eat much, etc....Yesterday, I finally had some "real" food, but I've been eating toast & gingerale all week. Oh, well....Needless to say I'm totally off track. I did a very short bout of exercise today, but didn't want to push it. I have to say I'm a bit discouraged by all these little bugs I seem to keep getting, but am determined not to let them throw me off. Hopefully tomorrow I'll be as good as new. Hope everyone had a nice Valentine's day. My biggest fan is the best Valentine ever. Love you all, Dianna

Girly

Thanks for the comments, ladies. Leah, it's funny you should mention the jeans...I was pretty excited to buy a pair of what I consider "girlie" jeans; meaning form fitting & not trying to hide everything. Not that I'll be wearing leather pants anytime soon :) I'm still a big fan of modesty in dress. But, when you're a certain size, you tend to think: "what will make me look less fat?", or "what will hide this roll here" haha. Now, I am beginning to be able to go into those high end boutiques (you know, like the Salvation Army:) & pick cuter things & not feel embarassed :) Pretty neat.

Love ya, God bless, Dianna

Can't always get what you want

I'm struggling a bit tonight with not having any goodies. I know I "can" have some, but I had some yesterday & it's already late, so I really shouldn't. If it weren't for my kids, I just wouldn't have any in the house, but there's no need to punish them just because I have self-control issues.

I just got back from my small group & we're starting to study the book of Romans. In the second part of the first chapter, Paul talks about how, if we continue to sin without repentance, God will eventually stop chasing after us & give ourselves over to our own sinful nature. He's talking specifically about non-believers, but I think the same can apply to Christians. I am just so grateful that I am finally coming to my senses in the area of food. I'm not "there" yet, but I am making progress & He is definately changing me & freeing me of these unGodly habits. I am thankful I finally heard His voice & responded & that He didn't give me over to my own desires. God is patient, but if we keep knowingly sinning, how can we really expect Him to keep forgiving endlessly? Especially if we're not truly trying to change & repent. Thanks for not giving up on me, Lord. Thanks for not always giving us what we want.

33 POUNDS!!

Woohoo! I've lost 33 pounds! Very psyched (yes, I grew up in the 80s). I'm back to exercising now that I am healthy again. It's quite a relief to know the good habits I've developed are sticking even with occassional breaks. That was always a down-fall before---I'd start something, get sick & never go back. No more! I am currently only 10 pounds more than my lowest weight post-children. That was at the end of my weight watchers stint & didn't last long at all, because what they "allowed" me to eat at that weight never satisfied me. There's no way I could do that forever. Now, I can eat whatever I feel like (in moderation & only when I'm hungry...i.e. when my body needs fuel). Yeehaw!! For some reason this particular # is super exciting to me. Of course, I'm nowhere near my lowest weight PRE-children, but that's another story altogether.

Leah & Jane...how are you ladies doing? God bless you all, Dianna

Almost Human

I'm feeling almost human again today. I did Leslie Sansone's 3 mile walk today & it nearly killed me, but I'm mostly recovered. It's tough getting back to exercising after a week off. But, I did it!

I was afraid to get on the scale today after a week of no exercising, but I was brave & did it anyway. I maintained. So, at least I didn't gain any back.

I'm still battling the cookies. The other day my hubby tried the whole "you said they're not worth it" ploy when I grabbed 2 Chips Ahoy & of course I ate them anyway. Later, I told him to try asking, "Do you want those cookies really badly?" instead. He is so sweet & he's trying to help me. BUT....there's something inside of me that just balks at ANYONE telling me what to do in certain areas. I swear, I felt like eating 10 cookies just to prove I could. Isn't that ridiculous? I guess I never fully overcame my teenage issues with authority :) For those of you who know Tony, you know he's not a meanie in any sense of the word & he's SO supportive of what I'm trying to do. It's really quite brave of him to even try to help me at all-- considering I have, in the past, bitten his head off many, many times:) At least this time, I just ate the 2 cookies. Guess that's progress. So, maybe if he phrases it as a question, it will just make me pause & examine my own self rather than activating my self-defense mode. Worth a shot. If the man is brave enough.
God bless, Dianna