Roller Coaster

I'm not lacking for metaphors these days, it seems. My life just feels like a roller coaster lately. I'm happy as pie one minute, then I'm crashing down the next. Winter tends to be my hardest time (like most people, I think)--lack of sunlight, shorter days, yadda yadda. Although it's felt like spring lately. Anyway, I'm just terribly moody & having a hard time focusing. Well, focusing on things I'm supposed to be focusing on, anyway. And I'm ready to sell the children again.

Eating wise, I've been doing ok...not great, but ok. Friday night I went to a resource sharing night for the home school group I'm in & there were lots of goodies there. I didn't eat dinner before I went & I didn't stuff myself, but I certainly ate more than I should have & I knew it & didn't really even fight it, to be honest. I was having this inner dialogue with myself....reminds me of the old cartoons where there's an angel on one shoulder & a devil on the other. My excuses were lame. Like I said, I didn't go crazy & I wasn't ready to pop, but I ate more than I needed. BOO!!

Yesterday, I went out to lunch with my sister & a friend. Again, I did ok, but not great. I had the salad bar. The first plate should have been enough, but I went back for a little more (that I didn't need). Again, I didn't stuff myself, but I should have just stopped at that 1 plate. I justified myself in both cases by comparing what the other ladies ate, but what do I care what they ate? What they eat or don't eat isn't going to help ME lose weight, right?

Oh well. I REALLY think I need to just stop long enough to get my head on straight. 99% of my problems stem from my own brain & lack of a positive attitude. I can blame it on lack of sleep, kids being monsters, winter, etc....but the reality is it is my CHOICE whether I am happy or not. It's my CHOICE whether I get up early to exercise or not. It's my CHOICE whether I am obedient or not. It really is as simple as that. Making excuses is not going to get me anywhere. I need to seek God's face until I get a break through in my attitude. So, I'm going to threaten the children with more chores if they interrupt me & lock myself in my room until I get sane again. If I don't come out in a week or so, send in the National Guard. God bless, Dianna