Had another good day. I was craving something sweet tonight, so I am treating myself to two squares of Hershey's extra dark. Yummy. This new approach of eating whatever I want, as long as I am hungry & to stop when I'm full is loaded with benefits. One of them is letting myself has an occasional treat without all the guilt, because I know I will stop at 2 squares & not eat the whole bag. Every "diet" I've ever been on, I have 1: tried to satisfy my sweet tooth with low-cal, low-fat, highly UNsatisfying crummy dessert impostors, or 2: deprive myself entirely of sweets & junk altogether until I eventually & inevitably cave, whereupon I go berserk & eat everything that's not tied down, whether it's all that tasty or not because I feel ripped off. It's very exciting to be able to indulge in a sweet & know God will give me the strength not to go overboard. Much cheaper, too. We are a one income family, because I feel like God has called me to home school, at least at this point in time. And yet, Tony (hubby) makes a comfortable living. So many times we'll be scraping at the end of the month & say, "where did all the $$ go?" & we'll joke & say "we ate it!!" Our grocery bill has certainly always reflected our junk food & sweet "habit". Where did our vacation fund go? we ate it!! Where did the $$ for new clothes go? We ate it!!
Speaking of habit, my friend Jane wrote a comment last week about being upset about not being able to have that second cookie she was looking forward to. It reminded me of an incident that happened probably 2 years ago....I had bought a bag of almond m&ms. Actually, I had Tony buy it. He has always been my "supplier" . I'm not talking the single serving ones you buy at the check-out stand...I mean a BAG. I have been known to eat a pound or 2 of chocolate in one sitting. Really. Anyhow, this was a time I was trying to be good & just have a few, so I told my hubby to hide the bag & not tell me where it was no matter how much I begged (no pressure). Well, I swear I dreamt about it or something, because the next morning, I WANTED that chocolate & was determined to find it, so I tore the house apart, but couldn't find it. Then, upstairs on the office floor, I saw one that must have dropped on the floor, so I ate it!!! Yes, I did. I wouldn't make this up. Pretty pathetic, huh? I'm sure I could think of more desperation stories, but that's all you get. You'd think that would have been my low point...enough to bring me to my senses, but obviously it wasn't, since that was 2 years ago. Because the devil had such a hold on me in this area, every time I knew I was out of control, I would just feel condemned to be fat & a piggie & just totally deprived of hope, so I would actually end up eating more.
It's so important to remember ".... our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." (Ephesians 6:12) When we recognize that those feelings of hopelessness are from satan, we can know how to fight him. The Holy Spirit will convict us of specific sins because He wants us to repent & turn to Him, but He will never just give us that feeling of just being a pathetic & hopeless individual. That's satan's job & he does it well...but he has no power other than what we relinquish to him. Praise God...He has already won this battle for me. Love you all, Dianna
2 comments:
Well Dianna:
I must say,that after reading about the M & M you sounded like a Coke junkie trying to scrape his last line that fell on the floor. Wow!!! I didn't realize the chocolate addiction was THAT bad. I mean I'm addicted to chocolate but I don't think that bad, well maybe just as bad but in a different way whereas I absolutely cannot go a day with it. I at least have to have a little piece like a hersey's kiss or something. I especially crave it when I first wake up or right after I eat lunch/supper. I do eat dark choc. or sugar free though. Not that that matters its
still chocolate and I guess I'm justifying myself by have dark or sf.
Your are inspiring me everyday, I've been good so far on just eating healthy or (like I said earlier, sugar fee). I read your blogs and it encourages me for the day. Thanks for that!!!
I'll see you tonight!!!!
P.S. where are Leah's blogs??????
Jane, click on my name as I post this comment and save the site on your bookmarks.
Anyway, I enjoyed your chocolate story. I have had many similar stories. Unfortunately, a lot of them were with something other than food but that was another life ago. You never fail to make me laugh when you post your blogs. But it is only because I can relate.
When I was pregnant with my first son, Dustin, I thought I could eat and eat and never gain any weight. So I ate ice cream as my "diary". I used to stop at McDonald's on the way to work (yes in the morning) and get a McFlurry with oreo and M&M's. At first they looked at me like I was crazy and told me that their machine wasn't up and running that early, but eventually they changed the ice cream machine schedule to accommodate my odd eating habits.
So so feel so bad. I have been the same way about ice cream. Not only did i have it in the morning but then I would later go home and eat a whole Ben & Jerry's ice cream.
Post a Comment